ALWAYS HAVE CASH

Hi. It’s me, Jac. Thanks for stopping by my blog. My life is a disaster so I’m gonna lean into it and do the weird shit I’ve always wanted to do. ThanksforbeinghereIloveyou.

12-31-05

11:24pm New Years Eve

New Years Resolutions:

2. Get a job

Breaking news: I finally got a job. I’m the Fundraising Specialist for AIDS Walk New York coming up in May. I’m excited for the newness and totally ready to not be new cause being new is the worst. It’s a contract job, so I’ll be back to full-time maxin’ on June 1st.

Down to business…

Test Icicles. I left a note for myself to listen to a band that SHS resident cool girl Audrey Jordan listened to. Or said she listened to. Or mentioned in passing. Anyway I heard about it from her. Screamy stuff with, like, quirks and shit. It’s baaaaad, friends. A lot of the songs kinda disintegrate into long winded screams and smashing on instruments (in an untalented way, not in a jam band way). Their second album on Spotify is just remixes, which is not a thing a band like this needs. It was actually terrible. I listened to it one time through, barely, and may be experiencing weird side effects. If you have enemies, play them Circle. Square. Triangle Chrome Hoof Remix. They’ll turn to dust like the vampires in Buffy. I’m dreaming of the journals when I got into rock n roll and left myself notes to listen to Chuck Berry and Lita Ford.

Cold Spring, NY. The perfect place to hide a body.

On Sunday, my roommate Myles and I took an hour and a half train out to Cold Spring, New York for a sunny hike. We went into one of the many antique stores in the tiny strip of the downtown area. I purchased a ring and Gary, the gentleman at the store told me all the rings there were good luck (from 12 minutes after I put it on). However, if I were to tragically die, the $8.66 I paid for the ring would be returned to Myles. Isn’t that a daisy?

The hike was hard because like everyone going up the mountain that day, “I’m really out of shape.” Myles drifted up like a beautiful fairy, but I sounded like a prize hog that was too big to move itself anymore. Regardless, it was nice to be in some creepy, barren woods.

If you need a nice 20 minutes walk, explore the entire town of City Island

Speaking of an hour and a half away, I went to City Island on Tuesday. You remember City Island, the tiny little slice right off of the Bronx. I went after my interview and got there around 5pm. I walked from the tip, down the main road. Most side streets were dead ends because the main strip is pretty much it. I went to each side of the island to see the views (sometimes you can stand on one side and see the water on the opposite side of the island). Then went into City Island Diner for some coffee and eggs. As I was taking my first bite I saw the “Cash Only” sign. PSA to anyone who doesn’t know this (me): ALWAYS HAVE CASH. Half the places in all of NYC and surrounding boroughs are cash only. I had enough in change to cover all but 15 cents of my check. Sorry lady who still insisted on giving me a free refill of coffee. You were lovely.

Thanks to the surprisingly large number of you who reached out to give my Damsel story a read through. I appreciate all of you very much. Doing some revisions and then hope to get some artwork involved. Will keep you posted.

Yes, those are hands. Technically, they’re my hands.

I also gave drawing a shot this week. Hands aren’t my specialty. Follow my Instagram to see the projects I’m trying and to keep up with whatever dumb stuff I’m doing at any given moment.

This week I’ll be getting back into the flow of the 9-6 life, so it’ll be a gentle adventure week. I’ll be doing some research for those of you curious about the cholesterol in coconuts (again, there is no cholesterol in coconuts), will be checking out a gay flea market cause duh. And you know what? I might go dancing cause I’m rather liking Tiny Jac’s idea of not worrying and making fun memories. It doesn’t have to be all about researching questions that aren’t really worth asking or getting full-time gigs.

I would also like to turn to you, dear readers, for some new song suggestions! I like classic rocknrollll and would love to know your favorite lesser known or newer songs to take out for a spin.

Wish me luck and send me some song lovin’.

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Yonah Schimmel’s Knishes

Hello! Welcome back to adventures in 2006…

3-15-06, 13 years ago today:

“What the hell? I’m such a bitch. All I do is complain about how my life isn’t perfect. Suck it up.”

So little has changed…

Museum at Eldridge Street. And me waiting for someone to come out of the shadows and tell me I’m a wizard.

Last week I resolved to just stop worrying and have fun (as an actual task, not as a romantic notion). That led me to having a very Jewish Monday. I took a trip to the former synagogue, Museum at Eldridge Street. It’s like stepping into the cathedral-esque setting of every YA novel about a girl with dormant super powers. A stunning space with a rather interesting history. Well worth it (pay-as-you-like on Mondays, so quit your job and dig it for free).

The guide Jan suggested I go to Yonah Schimmel’s Knishes for a knish (which I’d never had and now need a separate bank account for). A hole in the wall on Houston Street, Yonah’s is a low-key spot with a few seats and knishes coming out of the ceiling. I got a blueberry and cheese knish and almost died (from all the cheese) (also because it was stupid good). Next, Jan sent me to Economy Candy on Rivington St. All the candy from a variety of cultures throughout history. I bought her favorites, Turkish Taffy and Carrafelo Piemonte Classico (the latter of which is my new frenemy). All in all, thanks Jan. You’re a bad bitch.

Forest Hills. Where all the blue birds are actually animated and the deer dance to the sound of flutes.

Tuesday I went to Forest Hills, which can only be described as a missed opportunity for the setting of Once Upon a Time. Every house looks like a cottage from Snow White. A beautiful and wealthy community where people pick up their dog shit. I had fruit Jian Bing which is kinda like a crispy, eggy crepe and it ruled. They also gave me a poison apple mug from Snow White. Which was too much, honestly.

And then on Thursday I agreed to view a stranger’s film for $25. It was strange and I got $25.

“A City Island resident not born on the island is known as a ‘musselsucker.'”
Population: 4,387 (2010)

All in all, it was an indulgent week. Little Me wanted to look back and see fun times, and I’m with her. But Big Me wants to look forward and see not-scary times and I’m very poor. So I suppose, this is why sixteen year olds aren’t responsible for anything. Still, I’ll continue to do weekly weird stuff. If anyone wants to join me this week in NYC, I’ll be exploring (the hopefully creepy and weird) City Island, a tiny island community in the Bronx. (Follow me on Instagram for story updates throughout the week).

As promised, the big project I’m working on for this journal is the Damsel meets Knight story. I’ve transcribed the note so you can see, more or less, exactly what I left for myself…

Story

Knight – Damsel, Knight = Prideful (until he meets Damsel)

Damsel (love has been “stolen” by “merlin figure” Knight loves Damsel

Damsel can’t love knight because love is stolen

Must Kill “Merlin” to get back love

Knowing this would be my first actual project, I milled over ideas right when I cracked into volume one. Then, I casually ran the idea by my champion story guru Jeff Bryson, a co-worker and 3D artist, who almost instantly had a better idea than any of the ones I came up with. Thanks Bryson and don’t go far, I’ll need you for the next story project (see his work here). So I wrote the whole thing already. I’m unemployed. I’ve got loads of time. It’s not all knishes and tiny islands around here.

Thus far, I’ve written (almost 100% Bryson’s idea) that the kingdom is plagued with bad crops and the King and Princess summon a wizard to save them. He takes her ‘heart’ as payment and she becomes evil. A Prince goes to see them after the exact same thing happened in his kingdom and the wizard took his mother’s ‘heart’. He vows to find the wizard and see if they can make another bargain for the return of the love taken. So he and the Princess, with the help of three annoying pixies, set out to find the wizard and in hopes of restoring the love they’d lost.

Or some shit. I’ve conveniently left out how proud the Knight is and how he’s in love with the Princess. I’m just not that kinda guy anymore. Sorry Tiny, hetero Jac.

Anyway, I’ll be working on edits this week and would LOVE a second/third/fifteenth pair of eyes if anyone wants to sacrifice themselves to a short, roughly 20 page essay. Updates to come next week.

I’m adjusting my quest to not worry this week (spend less because I don’t have a job, get a job so I can spend more), but it’s a great sentiment. Don’t worry, have fun. And I have been. I will also be diving into Test Icicles. I wish there was a less gross way of saying that, but there it is. The band circled our group of friends pretty much only because we liked the Blood Brothers and this is similar. Other things I may get into: Albertine French bookstore, check out the Sisyphus Stones, and give drawing another go. It never had a proper first go, so I guess this is first go number two.

Wish me luck and try a knish this week.

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VOLUME ONE

Welcome back to JACLAND, a blog following me on the journey to fulfill the dreams of every version of myself. Prepare to be dazzled.

12-18-05

“I never know how to start out journals. I always say something like, I’m Jaclyn Rose MacDonald.”

My flagship journal starts just after I turned 16. I had the emotional depth of a dog bowl, I was going out with Danny, who’s been dating my best friend for almost three years now and I hated my parents. I really hated my parents. The amount of times I call my mom a bitch is staggering (sorry Mom, you’re perfect I love you).

My loose interpretation of “Scene” at the time. True scene is a little more eye liner, a lot more black, tighter clothes and hair that looks like your head actually exploded.

To give a broad overview of the times, it’s important to say that all my friends were in hardcore bands, and we were all very connected with the local scene. At the time, the Scene mostly meant getting all your friends together to smoke cigarettes while they took turns playing music for each other. My parents didn’t like my participation in the scene. They always thought we were getting into bad stuff. Really, Danny and I were just buying little army men and bombing each others troops with bouncy balls.

I was also terrified of love. Danny was the first person I was serious about and it totally freaked me out. I was heavily influenced by the anti-love movie How to Deal and considered myself to be one with Mandy Moore’s character. I recently rewatched the movie and if you need a visual of who I was at the time, and also hate yourself, give the flick a spin. The tagline is “A Lesson in Love for Non-Believers” and features a father who cheats on a mother with a younger woman. You know the trope and the implied affects it has on young women…

The classic and relatable tale of having divorced parents, a best friend who gets pregnant just before her boyfriend dies and falling in love with a guy who almost kills her in a car accident.

Volume one is very Vampire Diaries in how I thought writing down my woes would make them important. I over dramatized everything and was deeply convinced I was crazy. From this version of Tiny Jac, we get what I thought were the answers to it all.

In season one of JACLAND, we’ll revisit the music of the time with the bands Neon Blonde and Test Icicles (yes, a play on testicles). The Blood Brothers were big amongst our group and these knock offs were floating around the scene.

We’re going to dig deep into my young desire to learn everything, complete with a hefty list of things I’ll be learning over the weeks (how to pick locks, the history of women in rock and roll, chemtrail conspiracy theories, and morse code to name a few).

And we’ll discuss the answers to really dumb questions like “How can coconuts have cholesterol?” (They can’t and they don’t).

Next week I’ll get started on the one big project I left behind in this volume. An atrocious concept I’m surprised even Tiny Jac would be interested in entertaining.

I’LL BE WRITING A DAMSEL-MEETS-KNIGHT FAIRYTALE… So, if you thought this blog would be about interesting or forward thinking topics, you were wrong.

I’d like to end this post with some advice wise young me left for dumb old me. And like all the advice I’ll be taking from Tiny Jac, I’ll practice it completely for the week I write on it, with updates to come in the following post. Maybe some of the advice will fix up my bad attitude or shake out some real interest I’ve got lodged in my head sludge.

1/1/06 12:40pm

“…I just want to open up and start making friends with everyone. Just live up life and not worry. Not worry about school, Danny, friends, parents nothing. Just go, do and have fun because you live once and I want to think that I had a really fun life I guess.”

I first took this at face value. Stop worrying, have fun. Then I realized over the years I’ve wanted to do loads of fun things I’ve never done before and, really, that’s the point of this blog. So, starting next week, I’ll be doing a weird weekly adventure. Some examples include make a fortress of solitude and spend a day in it, mini golf, birthday cake shots, night swimming, Ninja Turtle day (!), revamping my temporary tattoo collection, and other things that make me a cute, quirky date (ladiessss). If you’re in NYC and you’re looking for a weird time, callmebeepme.

So join me in our first experiment. This week, let’s not worry. Not worry about unemployment, debt, the future, our purpose, nothing. Choose your own adventure, and let me know how it goes. I’ll be going places that sound interesting, doing what feels right and having fun because YOLO and I want to think that I had a really fun life I guess.

Wish me luck, and try to make some friends this week.

Photos courtesy of Hannah (at the time) Huth

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Let’s Get Meta

I just quit a job I hated. It really wasn’t a terrible job, I’m just moody and impulsive and hope it adds to my charm. I was bored of wiping the dribble from the chins of capable adults and wanted to find something that I gave a shit about.

When I sat with my journal to hash out what I was truly interested in, I got nothing. I couldn’t think of a single thing that still inspired me. I literally used to be inspired by the color pink. I used to love cemeteries and learning tough new tricks with a butterfly knife. Creepy old trees used to do it for me.

I’ve recorded fifteen years of my life in, thus far, 59 journals. Years worth of all the things I wanted to be, things I wanted to do and see. I’ve left myself advice, to-dos and a string of hobbies and interests that I never had a chance to try out.

So I started peaking through old volumes and seeing loads of shit I’ve always wanted to do written in each journal. I remembered that the reason I left myself lists all these years, left myself notes from past me, was for times just like this.

Past Jac used to think that if I left lists of things for myself to do, I’d never get bored. If I always had something to turn my attention to when I was confused or unsure, I’d never be lost. Well if this isn’t the time for that absurd theory to be tested…

Starting at Volume One, I’m gonna go through my journals and relive all my greatest hits. I’m going to get into the cool (Magic the Gathering) and regrettable (Read the Divergent series) things I thought I wanted at different points of my life, and maybe revisit career paths I was interested in (prison guard is still 60% on the table).

I’ll be posting weekly about new projects I’m testing out, updates on how previous projects and advice has been going, and also try to connect with communities in the different areas of interest I’ll be crashing into.

So please read. It feeds my ego and also you may be the person I need to help me figure out how to get back into doing still life art with charcoal (there has to be a more elegant way of describing that). And can someone help a bitch out with blogging? My Myspace page looked better than this…

Also, just to get us going, here’s who we’re taking the lead from (yes, it’s me holding a barbie to the backdrop of Orlando Bloom):

2nd picture by my sister-in-law Alisha Tharpe, 3rd picture shot on disposable by Joshua Yandell.

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