Hi There. I’m Jac, a 29 year old thirteen year old with big dreams. I’ve kept journals my whole life and amidst these journals are notes I left myself, advice to make my life better, things to try that always interested me. The time has finally come for me to turn the notes into action and fulfill all my dreams. And here’s a snapshot of who Volume One’s Tiny Jac turned out to be:
If you’re just getting here, welcome. There’s very little point to this blog. Enjoy. If you’ve been a loyal reader this whole time (mom), thank you, I’m sorry, thank you. My dad once said he wants to read my blog but I use the F word too much. So, there’s that.
Volume One took me to REALLY cool places. I went to some museums, to a tiny tiny island off the Bronx. I tried prayer and didn’t click with it. I’m trying cooking and not clicking with it. Life is wild, and I want to learn everything, do everything and have fun.
As I get into Volume Two, I will be bringing with me the wisdom (projects) I’m still interested in from Volume One. Meeting people, opening up, not worrying. Going, doing and having fun. Giving up shit talking (adding no shit talking to/about myself… I’m kinda mean to Inside Jac sometimes), learning everything (starting with cooking), helping people (starting with AIDS Walk – donate to the cause!). I’m learning about UV and infrared and writing a book. Yes, I’m tired.
I’d like to introduce you to Lil Jaci of Volume Two. This journal (like a few others because I’m a resourceful bitch) was used first in 2005. Then I skip four or so months and start in March 2006, where I left off from Volume One. I open the journal with lyrics to the Killers song “Somebody Told Me.” I dunno…
The first half was used as a bible study journal. So heads up, I get real religious for a sec. The second half of the journal Danny, the first boy I held hands with for a long time, and I are breaking up and getting back together and breaking up. I meet Zack Weiss who has become one of those friends I don’t see for years and then we take a road trip across the country together. I get mono which leads to a million other illnesses and consumes the second half of the book.
My parents were always strict with me growing up. I’m there only daughter, and at the time I was brewing to grow up and be the person I am now. Which means I hated being told what to do, I always wanted freedom, and had a deep desire to make snap decisions on a whim… But I was (am) a good kid. Always concerned about doing what was right, always trying to be the best version of myself. I was a little good, a little evil. Like clowns. I was a clown.
The process of covering all the projects in this volume will take a little longer. There are 100 things to do. This is the first journal where I draw boxes that eventually get checked off.
Over the next few months you’ll see me doing some of the following: reading loads of bible verses, giving up cursing (DAD YOU CAN COME IN NOW), giving up complaining, getting into poetry, listening to Miles Davis (thank. god), going roller skating on a date and making my mom breakfast in bed (Skype breakfast, of course). There’s also a note to save $5000 for a trip to Italy, which we’ll get into later. I might even finally tackle eating healthy and exercising. Or I’ll quit the blog. Stay tuned.
Because the AIDS Walk is coming up quickly and tomorrow is my last day off until Memorial Day, I’ll be doing an easy one first.
No shit, one of the things in this journal is to organize a group to raise money for charity. I’m so pumped to cross this one off because my current profession is to organize many many groups to raise money for AIDS services. Woop! If you’re in New York or New Jersey and you want to walk with us, please email me (jaclynm@aidswalk.net). The event itself is amazing, 10,000 people walk with us through Central Park and Upper West Side. Margaret Cho is going to be there, drag queens from Ru Paul’s Drag Race will be there, cast members from Orange is the New Black will be there. It’s going to be a hoot.
If you want to support us but don’t live here, can’t make it or hate crowds (Hi, I see you, you’re valid) you can sign up to be a virtual walker! You create an account and then have access to a portal that you can promote to your friends, coworkers and family and ask them to donate to you. Alternately, you can donate to me! I’m a part of the Hyacinth AIDS Foundation Team. Not only am I personally fundraising for the team’s efforts, I’m their representative in their partnership with the host of the event, GMHC (NY’s premier AIDS Services establishment). My personal, individual goal is to raise the team $300 dollars. My professional goal as a rep is to raise a minimum of $200,000 for the Foundation overall. It’s a small number. GMHC’s goal this year is $5,000,000.
So, like, help me make my loose change goal of $200k. My pals Eric Champion and Molly Adair donated already. Thanks friends! Who’s next??? $15 donations or more are greatly appreciated!
For all of you who are only here because you’re so anxious for me to talk about infrared and UV, the wait is over. I understand it, and it’s boring. Not boring in an informational way. Existence is insane. Colors have temperatures, and non-colors (INVISIBLE COLORS, see also UV and infrared) also have temperatures. And the things we see on a daily basis are pretty much made up of temperatures that absorb or transmit wavelengths producing the colors we see. The actual facts are fascinating (and not as simple as the Crayola version I boiled it down to which is only mostly accurate). I just mean it’s boring as a topic in a theme-less blog. No one came here for this.
I got my cook on this week. Uncle John’s pancakes. I don’t actually know his recipe but I pulled one from the internet. It required real milk and I used almond cause who still drinks animal milk? Like, ew. It’s 2019, let’s move on. Sure, I eat things with milk in them, and probably a few times in the last 10 years I’ve purchased milk for a recipe, but we have alternatives now. You’re an adult. Stop drinking from the teet. The pancakes were great, Myles loved them. I have no idea if the lemon had anything to do with it, but I’m keepin it. I made a kale salad, which isn’t cooking and is also disappointing to eat. I made a burrito bowl with too many vegetables and not enough of the good things (I’m realizing now that I only like pancakes).
Speaking of making snap decisions, grief is wild and I bought a ticket to go see my Cousin Elias in Nashville from May 24th to May 27th. Super normal, nothing weird or irrational about it. I’ve never been, so it’ll be cool to see my third brother and hang in Nashville for Memorial Day weekend.
I went and saw The Prom on Broadway. It was cute, the dancing was insane (like, I think we should check on some of those kids) and the people were crazy talented.
This coming week will be insane. It’s pre-Walk week. Long days, lots of work. I only have Saturday off this weekend, then work through to the weekend of Memorial Day when I promptly fly to Nashville. (It’s fine, make decisions and stick with them, it’s fine, I’m fine).
If no one reads this blog, at least I have peace of mind at the end of the week when I feel like I don’t do enough. No wonder I’m always cranky.
Next week I’ll be shifting the blog a little. I’m taking on a lot of projects at once, and in an effort to make them all worth it and have their own space, I’ll be fulfilling the project elsewhere and linking it here. I’ll talk for days if I’m not stopped, and these posts are long as is, but the actual information is being lost in my (poor) effort to be concise. Anyway, don’t go anywhere, I’m trying to make you more comfortable.
Wish me luck and donate this week.
JACLAND 