Last week I read Kevin Max of dc Talk’s book Unfinished Work.
If you’re anti-religion, maybe this isn’t for you. If you, like me, can take what matters to me and discard all the other information I don’t find valuable I say give it a shot.
From a refreshing perspective, Max says that to truly find belief in your morals, they need to be challenged. He says learning about the rest of the world and the people in it helps him to establish a firm foundation for his faith. “Let’s face it. The Christian life requires all the faith we can muster. To believe that a Man actually could walk on water and be raised from the dead is to believe in things that most people will try to laugh off and call fairy tales or myths.”
His perspective is perhaps the exact reason these projects are valuable to me. I forget that having an open mind allows me to challenge my beliefs and the bits of me I understand as identity. I also believe that creating that space for conversation without confrontation is how peace is created between opposing groups. Like, I may not hang with this dude, but I may high five him if we passed each other. Also have you ever listened to dc Talk? They’re dope.
It’s comforting to hear that people, even people who had successful careers, struggle with finding a space for themselves in the world. Max spends most of the book talking about being pigeonholed into the Christian music industry and then being forced to behave per everyone’s expectation of what a Christian music performer should behave like.
I’ve been told who I am for so much of my life that when I finally stood back and asked myself who I wanted to be, I had very few original ideas. I was so buried beneath being told I was pretty, being told I was irrational and irresponsible, being told I’m a woman that when I asked myself who I was I said, “I’m a pretty, irrational, irresponsible woman.” I only ever wanted to find a place where I felt like I belonged, and even then, as I went about my own personal discoveries, people would say I must be running from myself, rather than in pursuit of myself.
To hold your own destiny in your hands seems something impossible when the world around you wants you to be their favorite and perhaps most comfortable version of you.
The book was a quick read, relatable, though at times a little inflated. I say go for it if you need to feel okay about the world pushing back.
Separate note, I’m in OREGON!!!! It feels like I never left, yet somehow forget where I am at all times. Cam and Matt are getting married TODAY and I can’t wait.
I’m very happy to be home and out of New York for a time, but I will say, the dreaded time has come. Portland is no longer my home and it’s a hard pill to swallow.
It’s been nine months since I’ve been home, and so much has happened. It’s not as easy for me to come home and slip right back into things. Everyone here has moved on, I’ve moved on. I don’t necessarily think it’s a bad thing, and I think we’ve always known this could happen, but it stills feels weird.
It’s hard to be the person I was before so that I may be who people remember me being or to relate easier with people I love. It’s like putting on a shoe that’s too small. I’m sure it’s the same for everyone else.
Life is crazy and I’m happy to be here and in just a couple days I get to see my parents, my brothers, the babies. I’m very happy to be here, and happy to see the new versions of the people I love, and love sharing the new version of me. It’s how we round out our relationships, I suppose.
So for this week, I’m pulling from Bible Study Jac. She was an individual and always inspired by the “be yourself” pep talk at this age. She wanted to truly be inside herself, and I admire that about her.
“Be my own person. Don’t do things so I can be accepted. Or so I can hang out with or be like anyone else. Be me. Wear what I like, no matter what people think. Do what’s right. Don’t lie, gossip. Stand up for what I believe in. Get involved.”
Being authentic to myself, as mentioned above, hasn’t always come naturally to me in my adult life. I think exploring that, being thoughtful, truly being fearless, that all plays an important part in the life I’ve built for myself in New York, the relationships I want to continue to nurture back in Oregon, and the life I’ll take with me to Europe.
How do you keep in check with yourself? How do you keep yourself centered and your values ever present as you live each day? And how to do deal with your morals or your goals being challenged?
The only photo I have with Matt and Cam together she’s flipping me off and he’s not paying attention. So this is Cam and I on Father’s Day 2018 at Rockaway Beach.
Wish me luck this week and CONGRATS TO MATT AND CAM!!!!!
JACLAND 