I have to start by saying this week I read The Pilgrimage by Paulo Coelho and cannot recommend it enough. My darling Michelle Alameda recommended it to me (and is actually doing the Pilgrimage route from France through Spain next year, so, that’s badass).
What it made me see and understand is that I’m constantly looking ahead. I’m hardly watching what I’m doing in front of myself, and always looking to something bigger and better.
I have a whole life I have to live between this moment and the moment I’m leaving for Europe. And if I let it go by, if I never find happiness now, then the future will become the now and I’ll constantly be searching for happiness.
Slow down, I guess is what I’ve taken away from this. Look around, fear less about where you’re going, and live as if today and this moment is always where you wanted to be, and it’ll always feel like you’ve accomplished your goals.
Anyway, this is all to say I had a great week. My friends from Oregon were in town over last weekend, and it was just nice to be with family and laugh and not have to explain myself to anyone. To get to just let the decade+ of history do the talking. Turns out all you have to do to “Be somebody” (last week’s project) is to nurture the relationships you’ve cultivated with people who genuinely love and care about you, and for whom you feel the same.
I was sick again, so the getting work done before play was actually a lesson in The Pilgrimage. I had to tell myself to slow down, listen to my body and take care of myself. I’m bad at it. I’m obviously the person who would rather have a wild time at the expense of my health than lay in bed for a whole day to get healthy.
It’s worth it to consider what it means to “Be somebody” and if that leads to happiness. It’s worth it to consider what’s important for you, so when that’s accomplished, you’re freer to share yourself with the experiences you seek.
Phew. Life.
The time in my apartment is coming to an end. I’ve put off a lot of things I kept thinking I’d have done by now (such is life) but we’re getting down to the wire here. I have two weeks to really assess what I’ve got left to do.
For starters, I have a pair of pants that I intended to take as my only jeans for my travels. I can’t fit in them… I haven’t been able to fit in them pretty much since I bought them.
They’re really good quality, and they’re the perfect style so I want to use them. I know, you’re thinking, just buy a bigger pair. Duh.
Well this week I’m going to circle back around to one of my first goals for Volume Two; Eat healthy and Exercise. I do both of those things fairly often. I just eat pizza much much more than I do those things. Like, I had pizza and Oreos for lunch on Monday AND Tuesday. So it doesn’t really matter if I work out, ya know?
This week is “Let Others See Your Weaknesses” week. I’m a pretty open book about my weaknesses. I don’t think I hide much from people because I’m constantly looking to them to help me sort out what the hell I’m even doing with these problems.
But one of my biggest weaknesses is self sabotage. I think I rarely see myself as anything other than invincible unless I’m doubting or blaming myself. I eat like garbage, even though I balance it out with lots of vegetables, yoga and gyming. I drink too much, even though I’m responsible, and aim to drink a gallon of water a day. I doubt myself, I make jokes about my progress, I never slow down etc.
I’ll be 30 on December 9th, and I really don’t want to take these weaknesses into the next decade with me. So this week, I’m addressing that my weakness is giving up on my health to satisfy immediate gratification. I’m taking my health into my own hands, taking myself seriously and building up my weak spots to be buff spots (and buff arms. I want buff arms). In the immortal words of my late Uncle, I’m gonna “give it shit, girl.”
Wish me luck this week and let’s keep each other accountable. How do you stay healthy throughout the week? What’s your workout routine? How am I going to fit into these pants in the next two weeks???
JACLAND 