I DID IT. I finally finished the Damsel story (currently called The Plum Wizard). I wrapped it up and sent a query to an agent. So there. There’s that. You can read it here.
Guess what’s not easy? Knitting. Knitting is not easy, and everyones knows it.
I didn’t consider that I wouldn’t be a natural at this. Which is vain as hell, but has also gotten me jobs I didn’t qualify for in the past.
Anyway, what I made is a thing. It’s definitely not a scarf, but it is 100% a thing. You know what people don’t tell you about knitting? It kinda hurts your body. It’s repetitive motion in weird kinked positions. I’m sore. I’ve been doing yoga to uncripple my hands and shoulders.
If anyone can figure out how to wear this monstrosity, it’s my mom.
I know somewhere down the line I wrote about wanting to properly learn to knit. But that is not now, so bye bye crippled neck. See ya frozen fingers.
Ok, I feel bad about saying this but I’m hella over Good Girl Volume Two. Yes there’s value in a lot of the projects I’ve done and many that I will do, but (I vaguely remember this happening in Volume One?) they’re boring. So I’m going to knock a few out at a time when possible.
Which leads me to GRITS The Art of Translation. I threw this album on yesterday and was surprised that I knew some of the songs. The group was pretty popular when I was growing up, and they’re pretty good. Thank God, ya know?
Also this week I’ll be working on a Revolve Beauty Secret. Just for a frame of reference, the following are words I would use to describe myself: -Indifferent -Bored -Moody -Quirky -Curious -Cute
The Revolve Beauty secret #1 is “Be joyful always.”
Honestly, I don’t know that I’ve ever been considered “joyful”. It just doesn’t sounds like me. I don’t even like things that are considered joyful (except babies but I like them cause they’re dumb and tiny). I do see value in this, though I think “always” is a little unrealistic. But I will make a week long attempt at being joyful always or whatever.
Unemployment has found me sitting in my bed a lot this time around. If you were with me during my last unemployment gap I was thriving.
I pretty much just ate during my last gap of unemployment. Also banana puddingomgomg
Now that it’s crunch time for Europe, and I can’t afford to spend money/go without work I feel the pressure (also it’s so hot and humid in NYC right now. It’s impossible to be outside, I miss you Spring).
I could use a little joy, or at least use my efforts to discover what it takes to be joyful. If you have any suggestions, notes, articles on joyfulness please send them my way! I’ve just figured out how to make a “Contact” button, so use it.
Speaking of things to figure out, the blog needs an update and I’m not super savvy.
Oh, you are??? Omg that’s crazy. Lemme by you a drink to help me work on making this look cuter. Thanks for offering.
Anyway, wish me luck this week and lemme know your top tips on living joyfully.
Hi there. Thanks for being here. It makes doing this every week less of a massive waste of time.
We’re neck deep in Volume Two when Tiny Jac was a very hopeful Christian.
Sometimes I read through this Volume and can’t even remember being this person. I can’t remember truly having a relationship with God, and I can’t really remember why all of it made sense at the time.
Tiny Jac would soon struggle with her faith. It would be a losing battle, as we all know, but it was painful at the time. She thought, because it was how she was raised, that she would know 100% there was a God at some point. And it never came. And all the things that made people believe in God started to seem more and more unreasonable. She fought like hell (for seven volumes) to find God in her heart and then she finally realized she was alone in there. She finally realized it was time to start saving herself.
(She did a damn fine job, btw).
Reading through The Rules: Ten To Live By by Mark Nicholas has been an interesting and low-key upsetting journey. Sometimes, the way God is spoken about, he sounds like an abuser, and it stresses me out. If you’re looking for an intro into Christianity, this ain’t it.
If you’re not familiar with the 10 Commandments, they’re supposed to revolve around creating good people. However, this guy choose to exclusively use examples from the Bible where God looks like a dick, and then backs these quotes with examples that don’t make him look like less of a dick.
For example, the book opens by saying the Lord is a jealous God. Is jealously not a sin? “God is jealous of any worship that is not directed to who He truly is.” He then quotes the bible: “If you hate me, I will punish your children, and even your grandchildren and great-grandchildren.” The explanation here doesn’t make the concept of our God less of a whiny little brat, and jealousy less of a sin.
He goes on to speak about homosexuality as if it’s an affliction. “I have friends who have wrestled with this sin and found what I believe is complete healing in the arms of a merciful God.” He believes that we should still respect and love people despite their struggle with homosexuality.
In case you’re wondering if I’m biased.
So, hey… I’m not gonna lash out. I’ve done that a lot lately and I’m v tired. There are many a Christian-homo who worship God and who have yet to see his mighty wrath. Turn on the news… some of these “God-fearing” Christians are behaving like monsters, shaming homosexuals, people of color, women who have chosen to have abortions as if they are God and get to do the condemning.
Maybe consider that homosexuals, even Christian homosexuals aren’t struggling. They are who they are, they also love God and those people have an open communication with our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.
He mentions that murder is murder unless it’s war because it’s the government that must answer to God. We, as humble servants of God, must help our government make good decisions about war. “If you believe our government isn’t handling matters of life and death in accordance with God’s rules, speak and let you voice be heard.”
So, let’s just say if lil Timmy gets drafted to fight for his country and is like “but I don’t want to” it’s treason. So he goes to war and then gets killed – I’m talkin, a faceless person who’s wielding a gun from a 100 yards away, shoots him in the head and he dies right then and there and it’s not murder. Because it’s war. Which is toooootttallllyyyy fine when the war is created by politicians who must answer to God. And are often punished with bad press.
Thanks for your sacrifice, Timmy. The death of your body, hopes, dreams and total presence on this planet was not wasted at all.
I dunno, y’all. Religion is a hard one for me. It asks a lot of it’s followers and one of those asks is to just take all the smoke and mirrors without questioning why, all because they’ve monopolized the word “faith” and then worship a dude who (according to this book) blames Adam’s blasphemy on Eve because she offered him the apple and he took it.
It’s 2019, ya know! I’m a strong, queer woman, it’s hard to just take this shit at face value!
I will say that the reason I made lists like this all throughout my journals and my life was to continuously challenge the way I think about and see things. So, back to Tiny Jac and her Christianity, I’m glad she had a thing, and I’m heartbroken that she was heartbroken when it didn’t resonate with her.
Honestly, she’ll have a million other things that ultimately don’t resonate with her, so maybe God’s plan was to set me up for a life of being curious and never giving up.
Thanks God!
There’s, like, 8 more books on this Christian reading list…
BUT THIS WEEK! I want to do nothing religion. It’s making me unkind.
This week I’m fully unemployed, and you know what that means. So much New York exploration. The next (insert amount of time before I get a job) will be filled with some of the following; the Sisyphus Stones, Vinegar Hill, Cobble Hill, museums and parks galore.
I’m also going to take a note from the Dungeon Master of knitting, Kaylee Wolf, and learn to knit. I’m going home to Oregon in September, and I intend to have a scarf all knit together for my mom as a going away present. Cause I’m going away, remember? Europe?
There’s no way I did all the rest of this stuff
From Revolve, one of the lists is “Top 10 Ways to Show Mom I love Her.” Knit her a scarf is one of two remaining projects (the other is make her breakfast in bed which has been impossible my whole life because she basically naps for 30 minutes and is awake for 23 1/2 hours a day).
So ‘hook’ it up with some advice, some plans or whatever the word is for recipes to knit, and follow me on IG where I’ll be showing my progress @jac_land_.
Wish me luck this week and be nice because it’s nice to be nice.
JACLAND 