Feb 25 05
“Breakin my back just to know your name. 17 tracks and I’ve had it with this game. Im breakin my back just to know your name. But heaven ain’t close in a place like this. Anything goes but dont think you might miss. Cuz heaven aint close in a place like this I said a heaven a close in a place like this. Bring it back down bring it back down tonight (Hoo hooooo) Never thought I
Chorus Somebody told me that you had a boyfriend who looked like a girlfriend that I had in February
of last year Its now confidential, I’ve got potential. Ready lets roll on to something new takin its toll & Im leavin with out you Cu heaven aint close in a place like this I said heaven aint close in a place like this. Bring it back down bring it back down tonight (hoohoooo) Never thought I
in modern life.
Chorus
Rushin a rushin around. ? Pace yourself for me. I said maybe baby please. But I just dont know now. Weh All I wannt do is try
Chorus
Rushin a rushin around now
Chorus
Rushin a rushin around
Chorus
Rushin a rushin around”
Did you skip most of it because you know where it’s all going? Yeah, I do that every time I open Volume Two. Cause this is exactly how it’s written on the first two pages. I clearly didn’t know all the words, which is actually kindof adorable.
I write more Killers lyrics throughout my journal. The page directly after this has a little corner piece that says “I got soul but I’m not a soldier.” I mean I remember liking them, but I don’t remember being a band member…
Another album I was really into at this time in my life was Reliant K’s “Two Lefts Don’t Make a Right.” For the obvious reason that it’s awesome.
A lot my church friends were listening to that album, but it was also already on my list. Being a devout Revolve Girl, I had a whole list of Christian albums that I never got around to because shortly after, I got into hardcore music and smoking cigarettes and lying.
So, if you hadn’t already figured it out, that’s what I’m doing this week. I have quite the selection; Sixpence None the Richer, MercyMe, GRITS, Audio Adrenaline. But I think, because life is mostly terrible, I’m going to start with Switchfoot.
That’s right. My arch nemesis, alt rock. Wikipedia describes them as American Hard Rock, which literally makes my skin crawl. You all remember “Dare You to Move.” It’s the song you heard on KDUK when you were waiting outside a Dari Mart for your friend to come out with those waxy Lil Debbie snacks. Ah, white trash memories.
Anyway, there’s that. Also, I forgot to mention I read Diary of an Anorexic Girl. It got pretty mixed reviews, but honestly it was a hard book to read. Her slow decline into dangerous behavior is so subtle and casual it’s hard not to draw comparisons to times when I self harmed for what I thought were totally normal reasons. It’s definitely triggering, so don’t read it if you’re happy. Just in general. I wrote a longer piece about it here if you’re dying to know more.
I also went and saw Hamilton on stage at not-Broadway (whatever it’s called in SF. Theatre? People were really dressed up, unlike in NYC). Yes, the Hamilton that rocked Broadway and every high school black box lunch conversation for the last whatever whatever years.
If you don’t know anything about it (I didn’t) it’s the historical telling of Alexander Hamilton’s participation at the inception of America. The reason it’s shaken theatre is because it’s done through mostly rap. History told through rap battles.
I spent the first thirty minutes of the show convincing myself that it’s okay to be the only person on the planet who didn’t like the show. But once we got through all the learning of each character and setting the scene, the style of the music, the tone of the show felt so much more powerful. It was emotional, intense, beautiful. They do a rewind scene that actually rocked me. Bullets were characters, the rhythmic dialogue made for really funny conversation or really painful, hard conversation.
Damn.
DAMN. People were crying, people were cheering on during rap battles, people were hooting and hollering for the singers who tore themselves apart for these roles. Damn. See it. Pay the million dollars to see it. Money well spent/I hate theatre I want to watch it again and again but I’m too poor.
Finally, follow my Instagram. I’ll be doing cool shit all weekend and I’d hate for you to be the person who gets called on in class but didn’t do the reading. San Francisco Pride is upon us. I work a rooftop event and then the AIDS Walk booth at the festival.
So I hope everyone has a really gay weekend.
Wish me luck this week and check in on me from time to time. Alt rock makes me violent.
JACLAND 